|The Guild of Calamitous Intent|
|"Hate you can trust."|
|1st appearance:||Home Insecurity|
The Guild of Calamitous Intent is an organization that oversees the operations of super-villains. Led by the Sovereign, this organization is larger than the The Peril Partnership, the Fraternity of Torment and all unlicensed villains combined. Providing organized havoc since 1910, The Monarch, Baron Underbheit, Phantom Limb and many other super villains on the show are or were a part of this organization.
As seen in the episode ORB, the original incarnation of the Guild (which did not contain the suffice clause "of Calamitous Intent") was a group very similar to The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, consisting principally of Col. Venture, Fantômas, Sandow, Oscar Wilde, Samuel Clemens, and Aleister Crowley. The Guild was formed to protect a mysterious device known as The Orb, with Lloyd Venture leading the team under the title Grand Protector of the Orb.
Even though nobody is sure what The Orb actually does, its existence had created a serious rift within the Guild, splitting its members between those who wanted to activate it and those who wanted to keep it safe. In the episode ORB, we see that a great battle had broken out between the disparate members of the Guild over possession of the device. At this time, The Orb was in the possession of Col. Venture and other Guild members aboard Venture's airship. As the battle raged, Fantômas and Samuel Clemens argued that the only way to win was to activate the device. But Col. Venture and Oscar Wilde disagreed, with Wilde exclaiming, "For shame! This guild was founded to protect and serve man at his best, not to be a guild of calamitous intent!"
At some point it seems the Guild splintered, or altered, with the Guild of Calamitous Intent being headed by the usurper, Fantômas.
In keeping with the Guild's tradition of recruiting persons of influence to society (such as novelists Oscar Wilde and Samuel Clemens) the guild became a haven for rock stars during the 50's; rock music being new and highly influential on society at the time. A tradition that continued with such stars as David Bowie, Brian Eno, and Iggy Pop reaching high positions in the Guild ranks.
The Guild assigns villains to "arch" people who apply for licensed aggression. And it decries the use of unlicensed arching in marketing videos. According to the Guild, unlicensed aggression can lead to disregarding of treaties, improperly matched animosity, or inappropriate behavior. Guild certification goes a long way to making someone a name brand villain.
The Guild does not appear to focus its efforts upon individual adventurers, but upon persons who disrupt the progress of the Guild's general goals. Due to his long list of successful prosecutions of Guild members Tiny Attorney worked his way to number 3 on the Guild's most wanted list and was executed by Phantom Limb shortly before an attempted coup d'etat disrupted Guild operations for a short time. The Monarch also earned the ire of the Guild, likely due to his lackadaisical attitude toward progressive villainy. Following the failure of the aforementioned coup, the acrimonious relationship between the Guild and the Monarch was apparently considered settled.
 Known Officers
- David Bowie, currently The Sovereign
- Force Majeure (deceased), David Bowie's predecessor as Sovereign. Likely a reference to Tangerine Dream
- Dean Venture, who was dubbed Sovereign briefly by right of descent from Col. Lloyd Venture as an administrative move
- Phantom Limb declared himself Sovereign in a coup d'etat, although it is unclear to what extent his claim would have been recognized had he actually succeeded in killing Bowie.
- Eon, Bowie's current bodyman. Appears to be modeled after Brian Eno
- Iggy Pop, served as some sort of bodyman to Bowie before betraying him to Phantom Limb
- Klaus Nomi (deceased), served as some sort of bodyman to Bowie before betraying him to Phantom Limb
 Council of 13
See article Council of 13
 Rules and Treaties
The Guild has a full rule book its members must adhere to, many coming from agreements between the Guild and unspecified organizations. These treaties include:
- The Service Abandonment Guild Non-Assail Pact of 1958 - Paragraph 20 line 17 appears to allow safe passage onto an arches' premises to retrieve a deserter. Or Sgt. Hatred may have been too distracted to call Mr. and Dr. Monarch's bluff.
- The 1967 Charter of Casual Contact
- The Unusual Torture Act - the 1969 addendum to article 47 is known as Rusty's Law
- The Treaty of Tolerance - signed in a conference room in The Venture Compound, presumably during Jonas Venture's career.
- Two members teaming up to arch the same protagonist are expected to file articles of collusion
- Mental health arch-exclusion clemency clause - Introduced shortly before Self-Medication, it allows protagonists safe passage to mental therapy appointments.
The Guild has a stranglehold on the licensed aggression market and they want to keep it that way. Marketing has come up with a number of slogans to use in sales pitches to clients.
- Your nemesis is our business.
- First-rate professional menace to all who qualify.
- Thank you for selecting the Guild of Calamitous Intent as the instrument of your demise.
- Hate You Can Trust.