|The Venture Bros. episode|
|Eeney, Meeney, Miney ...Magic!|
|Orig. Airdate||September 4, 2004|
It's night time at the Venture Compound and Dr. Venture is having a weird dream about two embryos in the womb, one choking the other one with an umbilical cord. Brock is having a dream about what looks like him in a college football uniform, and a coach doing the finger across the neck (dead) signal while squatting next to a football player on the ground. The Hank and Dean are playing with a Ouija board and in the lab a contraption with a weird green glow opens up and a caped man steps out of it. He disables H.E.L.P.eR., walks through the room where the boys are, and with a wave of his finger, makes the boys go to sleep.
In the morning Dean tells a sleepy and pissed Dr. Venture that a Dracula-guy put them to sleep. Hank, meanwhile goes to tell Brock that H.E.L.P.eR. is broken but almost gets his neck broken by a startled Brock. Dr. Venture takes Dean to meet the new tenant who is a doctor and not a vampire. The guy explains why he did what he did the night before. In Brock's room, Hank is trying to get Brock to play his In through the outdoor tape, but Brock refuses to because it reminds him of the only woman he ever loved. In the new tenant's apartment we find out that his name is Dr. Orpheus and that he is a necromancer. When Dr. Venture asks if Dr. Orpheus refers to the place as a lab so he can file it in his taxes, Dr. Orpheus goes into a rant about Dr. Venture's latest "abomination". Dr. Orpheus' daughter comes in and she takes Dean, who is smitten with her at first sight, to the kitchen. When she leaves, Dr. Orpheus explains that he is a single father and that his wife ran away with a young necromancer. In the kitchen, Dean finds out her name is Triana and asks her if she is a pirate because of the jolly roger on her "blouse" which makes Triana think Dean is a weird kid. She ignores this, but when the topic of school come up, Dean says he doesn't go to school because he is "tutored by a box his pop made," which "sometimes gets hot." This time Triana admits this is weird.
In the lab, Brock is repairing H.E.L.P.eR. and Hank, who's hanging around with him, notices the contraption his father is working on and heads towards it. The door opens and Hank is mesmerized by the green mist coming from it. He looks inside and sees Dr. Venture, who asks him if he wants to come inside and toss the pigskin around. Brock looks up and sees this; he runs towards Hank, throws him aside and is about to chuck something into the machine, but he looks inside himself. Brock's expression turns soft, and he steps into the machine. Inside, the football player he dreamed about tells him he forgives Brock for killing him. Then a bunch of ninjas show up and Brock's sadness turns into a joy.
Dr. Orpheus and Dr. Venture agree to go to the lab to look at Venture's invention. In the boy's bedroom, Dean is pretending to be Triana's prom king as he wears a burger chain cardboard crown. He starts giving his fist some tongue action. In Dr. Venture's device, Brock is trashing T-Rex riding cowboys, ninjas, scuba men and motorcycle driving polar bears. Dr. Venture and Dr. Orpheus get to the lab and talk about the Joy Can or as Dr. Orpheus calls it, an "iron cylinder of unearthly delights". Inside the Joy Can, Brock is on a mountain of dead bad guys and yells "enough already!" The mountain disappears and a bed shows up with a woman on it, named Molotov, presumably the only woman Brock has ever loved. They get in bed and Molotov makes Brock promise he won't be gentle.
Meanwhile the boys are talking about Brock being stuck in the machine that makes people happy. In the kitchen Dr. Orpheus is asking why Dr. Venture put the lock on the inside and Venture explains that the device was made for "the lonely kind of hanky-panky." The boys are down in the lab with tin foil hats discussing that if they rescue Brock, Dr. Venture will give each of them their own room. The door opens and they see Brock and plan to run in there and grab him, but when they look back, the door is gone. Dean comes up with the idea of urinating on his shirt and putting it on Brock's head. Brock thanks the boys for their enthusiasm in saving him from the only woman he ever loved, but that he wishes they would have thought their plan out better when they can't find the way out.
Outside Dr. Orpheus is trying to figure out why other people can go into the Joy Can but not them. Dr. Venture confesses that he did use some unorthodox parts, namely, an orphan. Dr. Orpheus tries Marco-Polo, to no effect, and Dr. Venture reprimands the boys, also with no results. Triana shows up and says Dean's name which Dean hears and makes him find the way out. Dr. Orpheus tells Dr. Venture that they must banish the machine to hell, which Venture objects to because he believes the Joy Can will make him a mint. Dr. Orpheus again states that the machine draws its power from a forsaken orphan's heart, which convinces Venture, and Dr. Orpheus banishes the machine forever.
Dean tells Triana he'll see her around the compound, and she says she'll be around. Hank say's "smooth move, she was all over you!" "Really?" asks Dean excitedly. "No," replies Hank.
After the credits Dr. Venture is outside the restroom.
Dean, what the hell are you doing in there? I need to take a shower.